The Ballad of Ruby J

There once was a man

who possessed many tomes,

of mystical, magical

and fantastical prose.

His name was Alan Jefferson

and he was a master,

a true virtuoso,

an expert spell caster.

With a deep thirst for knowledge

and a power unbound,

 he soon did grow tired

of his old little town.

So he packed up his wand

and excitedly hurried,

to set out on his own,

a personal journey.

He knew there was more,

more he could be learning,

and this thought alone

had kept his heart yearning.

So up in the hills

and down through the valley,

he searched every nook,

every cranny and alley.

He swam through canals,

in oceans and ditches,

he parleyed with warlocks

and wizards and witches.

Lo when his journey

did seem to end,

he turned back around

and did it again!

Not once, but twice over,

did he search the earth

and though he did look,

found nothing of worth.

With no other recourse,

he chose to head home,

for he had not succeeded

in filling his dome.

That night he lay wake,

he tossed and he turned,

as the thirst for new knowledge

inside him still burned.

Then suddenly he heard

a knock on the door.

So he got out of bed

and made way 'cross the floor.

He swung it wide open

and looked all around,

but was quite perplexed,

when no one was found.

He started to turn

and head back inside,

but then a small package

did catch his eyesight.

It lay on the mat

just outside of his dwelling

and though spoke no words,

was very compelling.

Attached to the top,

was a small envelope

and inside of that,

a hand written note.

"From Master to Master,

I've heard of your troubles,

read this book now

and your powers will double."

In a state of surprise

he returned to inside,

gave the door a firm lock

and lit up the fire.

He read through the night,

achieved all in one sitting

and what he had learned,

he found quite befitting.

Inside was a guide

for new potion making,

of which the results,

would be quite breathtaking.

He followed the instructions:

steps one and two

fill a cauldron with water

and then let it brew.

Onto the next page,

steps three and four,

throw in three strands of hair

and sweat from your pores.

Onto the next page,

steps five and six,

while using your wand,

give it all a good mix.

The final commands,

steps seven and eight,

say these magic words:

instans duplicate

He repeated the words

and took a step back,

the cauldron was shaking

and emitted a flash.

As the light died down,

He noticed a figure,

rise out of the cauldron

and began growing bigger.

He let out a gasp

and was quite displaced,

when he saw that this figure,

had his own face.

"Who are you?!" he cried

and the figure stepped forward.

It looked up and smiled,

making Alan feel cornered.

"My name is Ruben,

I am your clone,

I'll do what you tell me,

I'll clean your whole home!"

Alan gasped, his thoughts askew,

"You're not me, this can't be true!

And yet if it is..

Then I'm also you."

So I cannot enslave you,

that would be wrong,

please live your own life

and exit my home."

But this angered Ruben.

"So what?" he asked.

"You created me,

now give me a task!"

Alan's jaw dropped.

Oh, what had he done?

What should he do now?

He just wanted to run.

So, he ran to his wardrobe

and pulled out a few clothes,

shoved them into a bag,

dropped it at Ruben's toes.

He put some on Ruben

and then he said firmly,

"Here is your task,

go and hire a surrey.

Go far, far away,

and tell them to hurry!

Go live your life,

about nothing else shall you worry."

Ruben smiled and said,

"This task I'll complete"

Then he walked out the door

and began his retreat.

Alan heaved a great sigh

as he fell in his chair,

finally happy, to

end this nightmare.

In the morn' he was frightened

by a knock at his door,

but it was just the milkman,

come to offer a pour.

As the days passed by

he felt more at ease,

as thoughts of that night,

began to decrease.

So, on a bright sunny day,

he went to visit the town,

but what he discovered,

quickly made him frown.

When he entered the brewer's,

the bar maiden shrieked,

"There he is get him!

someone stop that freak!"

Then Alan was rushed

by the bar maidens posse,

"Hey!" he shouted

"Let me go, get off me!"

The thugs held his arms

and the bar maiden slapped him,

"You give me my money

or I'll have Elton cap ya!"

He knew he was helpless.

"Okay, how much do I owe you?"

she laughed, "Don't try that act,

you weren't drunk one iota!"

Alan pulled out his checkbook

and ripped out a page.

He left it blank

and just signed his name.

He handed it to her,

"Here, write whatever you like."

the bar maiden snatched it

and her face lit up bright.

"Let him go" she commanded

and they released their grip.

Alan went toward the door,

and exited quick.

"No it can't be," 

he clutched at his breast

"I thought that this matter

had been laid to rest.."

He tried to keep calm

and go on with his tasks,

but as he walked, he looked 'round,

to see if Ruben would pass.

At the grocer's the air

felt frozen and still.

The moment he entered,

every face soon turned ill.

At the groomer's the scene

was exactly the same,

so he quickly backed out,

face burning with shame.

All over the town

every glance felt unfair,

wherever he stepped,

everyone stopped to stare.

Before heading home

he stopped at the post,

and what he found there,

disturbed him the most.

He went up to the counter

and asked for his mail,

but what he received

made him instantly pale.

Each letter he opened

was addressed to the name,

"Ruben Jefferson, Ruby,

and Ruby J.."

Then, inside Alan,

something did snap.

He had to find Ruby,

he must get him back.

He stormed through the streets,

 furiously searching,

his mind contemplating,

where was he lurking?

Then he remembered, 

the last conversation,

"Go far, far away..."

a quiet persuasion.

He picked up his pace

and hurried away,

to a place in downtown

called the Hotel Far Away.

He burst through the door

and ran past the Bell hop,

up to room one

and delivered loud knocks.

No answer. No shuffle..

Nothing made motion,

but then down the hall,

he heard a commotion.

From room 222

came a boisterous raucous,

then a woman yelled loudly,

"Ruuuuby! Get off us!" 

Without hesitation

Alan kicked down the door

and saw Ruby J

spread out on the floor.

With two women beside him

in dresses of red,

whom jumped up at the sight,

and instantly fled.

Alan swooped down

and seized him by the collar.

Ruby didn't fight back -

he didn't even holler.

He just smiled sweetly,

and followed along,

annoyingly pleasant

still humming a song.

Back at the house.

Alan strapped him to a chair.

Ruby just smiled,

with a blank little stare.

"Ruby I'm sorry, 

it must be this way,

you've ruined my life,

now you 're going away."

Then he balled up his fist,

and cocked back his arm,

but Ruby J didn't flinch,

he feared no harm.

Alan threw punches

again and again,

all over Ruben's body

and even his head.

He had welts now all over

and blood poured from his nose,

but Alan kept going,

kept giving him blows.

He knocked out a tooth,

then another, then more,

Alan was determined

to settle this score.

He ran to the shed

and grabbed every tool,

even the sharp things,

his intentions were cruel.

He filled up the tub

and dunked Ruben under,

but even that method,

was yet another blunder.

For hours upon hours

he tortured his twin,

he had to break Ruby,

he needed to win!

He froze him with fire,

he burned him with ice.

every foul method,

he tried more than twice.

Ruby - with half 

his teeth knocked away,

looked up at Alan -

and smiled, quite gay.

It rattled poor Alan,

unsettled him quick.

After that moment,

he had to commit.

With patience exhausted

and sanity thin,

Alan decided

how he'd do him in.

He took up a knife,

from the kitchen's display,

walked over to Ruby,

and plunged - straightaway.

The blade stood upright

between Ruby's eyes.

Alan stepped back,

convinced Ruby would die.

But instead Ruby smiled

and hummed his refrain -

even a knife

could not slow his brain.

Alan staggered.

"This cannot be real,

there must be a way,

to finish this deal!"

Last option in mind,

his last shred of hope -

Alan went to the shed

and grabbed him some rope.

He picked up a shovel,

went behind the barn yard,

then he dug a hole down,

the length of one boulevard.

Then he half filled it with water

and threw Ruben inside,

then fashioned a cover,

and placed it with pride.

He shielded the top

with a layer of concrete,

 then took a step back

and admired his feat.

he wiped his brow -

"Now that's complete,

'nay thee more

will I see of that freak"

And to this day

no one has discovered,

what Alan has buried-

completely covered.

Yet still, late at night

some people say,

you can hear a faint whisper,

"I'm Ruby J.."